Sometimes when you go to meeting future events feel behind the threats posed by signals from the past. I would not have to confront this painful occurrence. The fear of being invisible and forgotten. The fear of not existing, or being confused in the midst of a pit of other human beings who are pressing for survival. The need to emerge almost as a matter of life, like breathing ... the prima delle funzioni che il corpo umano deve acquisire per garantirsi la sopravvivenza. Perchè ho bisogno di tutto questo?
Di riviverlo ancora e ancora fino all'estremo, fino alla ripetizione infinita che non lascia più nulla se non un solco profondo e senza significato.
La cosa che meno riesco a tollerare è il gruppo. Io nel gruppo non riesco a funzionare, divento un arto scollegato che va per conto suo, dove confluiscono le correnti più primitive e meno elaborate di tutti gli altri. Nel gruppo ho paura di non avere aria da respirare e di soccombere.
Lo so, è un discorso poco comprensibile: lo è anche dentro di me, anche se ci sono i collegamenti oggettivi che servono to contextualize and understand what I'm talking about. But here I can not enter them. Here I will only trace data transmission, not trapelerà me anything about the real, if not something of the inside, poured on these blank pages and reassembled as best as possible. I'm not here for me to know, to open myself. Rather I am here to close me, to have a secure container in which the movements without trying to hurt me. I'm here to leave a track I do not make me feel real, but just let me leave here and there things I can not show the world, like seeds sown among the clods of earth moved. My hope is that somehow giving birth to germinate a new plant.
Basically forget to understand: you can take the pieces and groped to connect them, thinking that this experience makes me feel free and protected in my weaknesses, in my dark side scream as much as fiercely in the dark in an empty room. And you can still have a form of me made by you and then create a new me through you, whenever you read. 'S why I made a blog and am trying every day to create my own blog philosophy through the lives that we live in, I make use of them. Not original, not as much as other blogs I've seen around and they are truly a stroke of genius, but mine, my little virtual room where I want to exist. It 's all I can do.
0 comments:
Post a Comment